haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
