In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
