Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
