She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
