no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
