oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
