My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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