Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
