Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
