and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
