Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
