my phone needs a breathalizer
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize