as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
