dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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