So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
