Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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