Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
