In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
