I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
