i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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