i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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