My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
