So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
