If i come over, it means nothing
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
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