Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
