Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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