I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
