I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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