Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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