if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize