the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize