So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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