Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
