I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
MIDGETS
????
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
