you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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