Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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