bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I made him laugh his dick is mine
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
