So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
