They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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