Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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