Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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