it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
