so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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