So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
