just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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