Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
