just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I want to be your penis for a week.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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