Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
