what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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