its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
