She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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