I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
