Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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