Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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