So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
