I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
