He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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