Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
