Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
