I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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