i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
