Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
