If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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