i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
