Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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