i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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