So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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