dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I have fence marks all over my body
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
