i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she told me i tasted like america
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sext me about skeletons
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
