Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
