I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
