The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
