people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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