she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
