Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
